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18-Aug-2017 04:34

Since last you and I commiserated, two key events have transpired: 1.

The October 25th anniversary of Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith departing from this world for which she was simply too groovy. The specific that addicted me, hopelessly and immediately, was the November 1975 edition, which boasted red-headed, robustly-racked Janet Lupo as its centerfold, in a spread titled “Hooray for Hoboken.” From that instant onward, I needed more, forever, and I got it wherever I could: illustrated Fredericks of Hollywood ads, naked lady golf tees in the Spencer Gifts catalogue, a directory of “unexpurgated” book covers in the back of my father’s edition of Ulysses by James Joyce that was doubtlessly purchased from a Times Square kiosk of questionable repute. By the time I turned 10, I could match faces to the names, and I memorized a great deal of which naked lady appeared in what naked lady movie, and who made it, and when.

The movie was a Splash knock-off and a sequel-in-inexplicable-name-only, as the previous two Talk Dirty to Me flicks were gritty, semi-realistic sagas of John Leslie as a ladies’ man with intimacy issues (there was also another spin-off titled Nothing to Hide). We were a lot alike, I think, now -- A couple of adolescent sex wrecks working through our volumes of developmental trauma using the tools at our disposal. For me, that meant watching Traci’s body and writing about. Most of the Traci Lords movies I rented came from Ronny’s Video on Avenue J.

It took a half-a-fish for him to conquer his inner torments. If there could have possibly been a more rabid devotee of Traci in the Flatbush/Midwood area than I, it would’ve been Ronny.

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